|The old fossil attempting to understand even the most basic of concepts.|
|Main role||First Doctor|
|Other roles||The Abbot of French Town|
|Born||8 January 1908|
|Status||Dead (23 April 1975)|
Billiam Fartsmell (better known by his stage name, David Oneant) portrayed the First Doctor and... and, um. I forgot... hmmm. Yes. Well he did something or other. Yes.
Actually, William Hartnell is the most badass motherfucker to ever exist, second only to the Brigadier. He kidnapped companions and attempted to bash some motherfucking caveman's head in because he felt like it. He could also fuck up his lines and no one would care because it was the 60s. Cross this stonecold nigga, and you'll be nothing but cinders floating through Spain.
He used to travel with his grandaughter, Lady Larn/Arkytior/Susan Foreman/The Rani, until he realised she would get him killed and ditched her in post-apocalyptic earth with some guy. Later in his life, The Doctor came back and got one of her children killed, whoops.
In 1945 Hartnell killed Adolf Hitler bringing his Nazi tally to 47,894. Although he agreed with many of Adolfs points, he thought that his moustache made him look like "too much of a poof"
Kind, compassionate, yet mistrustful and abrasive. He was mysterious and often deceitful but fiercely loyal to those he cherished. He had a mischievous thirst for knowledge that often landed him in trouble. 1/10, best doctor.
William Hartnell was born a very sick, frail old man. Here's a full list of all the diseases and sicknesses he suffered from:
- Cancer (ten types)
- The Plague
- Vaginal odour
- Being old
- Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (delayed onset)
Based Billy eventually died because his arteries hardened like my peepee when I watch 60's kino. He was given a whopping 1 minute segment on the news that night.