Time and the Rani

You don't understand regeneration, Mel. It's a lottery, and I've drawn the short plank.

Time and the Rani
Seven up.
Seven up.
Season: 24
Episode: 1
Vital statistics
Air date 7 - 28 September 1987
Written by Pip and Jane Baker
Directed by Andrew Morgan
Episode guide
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The Ultimate Foe Paradise Towers
Please explode. Please explode. Please explode.
Mel kicking the shit out of Seven.
Why /who/ loves the Rani.
The Rani in action.
Time and the Rani DVD.jpg

HA HA Time for the Rani is without doubt the greatest Doctor Who story ever although its genius is often misunderstood, much like disco.

Shat out by Pip And Jane Baker, this was the Seventh Doctor's debut story and it ruined Doctor Who forever, again. It's the first story of the notorious Season 24 and Android Cartmel's first story as script editor.

It is confirmed as Emperor Chibbin's favorite episode, with Plant Vaginas being a close seond.


It begins with Sly McCoy dressed up as Colin Baker (complete with curly blond wig) and it somehow manages to get worse from there.

So The Rani causes the Doctor to regenerate by shooting down the TARDIS because she needs him for her latest scheme which is kidnapping geniuses throughout history and uploading their minds into a giant brain. She dresses up as Mel to get the Doctor to help her and he falls for it. What the fuck?

Also Tetraps.

Seventh Doctor

The Seventh Doctor spends his first story bumbling around like a retard, he's not the manipulative bastard he became later. It's the usual post-regeneration amnesia wackiness with the pantomime elements of the Sixth Doctor era still in place and it's just bizarre. Also spoons.

Production problems


Basically this story is all kinds of fucked up, possibly the craziest Doctor Who story ever, but for some reason it is strangely comfy in a way that is similar to being paralysed on face-melting drugs.

[False- there is nothing comfy about this episode. Unless you find Mel screaming for an hour and a half comforting.]

[No - I find it highly arousing.]

[Oh that's fine then.]