The Ultimate Foe

There's nothing you can do to prevent the catharsis of spurious morality!

The Ultimate Foe
RIP Sixie.
RIP Sixie.
Season: 23
Episode: 4
Vital statistics
Air date 29 November - 6 December 1986
Written by Robert Holmes & Pip and Jane Baker
Directed by Chris Clough
Episode guide
Previous Next
Terror of the Vervoids Time and the Rani
Wanna dance?
Michael Grade trying to strangle Colin.
Sixie & Glitch.

The Ultimate Pie is the fourth and final story of Season 23 and the last part of the The Trial of a Pie Lord arc.

It's also the last story to feature Colonic Bakery as the Sixth Doctor and was so bad it killed beloved and respected writer Robert Holmes.


The Valeyard (a future evil incarnation of the Doctor) wants the Doctor's remaining regenerations and challenges him to a pie-eating contest. The Courtyard gets his arse kicked and flees into the Matrix with Sixie and Sabalom Glitch in pursuit.

At the end the Doctor gives a rousing speech calling the Time Lords a bunch of corrupt old cunts.

Oh and Mel's in it. The Mattress shows up too.

IRL Drama

Robert Holmes was going to write both episodes but he died after finishing the first episode and left nothing beyond a plot outline of the second. Script editor Eric Saward wrote the final episode based on Holmes' outline. The original ending to this episode (and the whole Trial story) had the Doctor and the Valeyard in a cliffhanger both seemingly plunging into a void to their deaths as an extra "hook".

John Nathan-Turnip felt this was too downbeat and decided the season should not end on an inconclusive note because it was important after the 1985 hiatus to prove to Michael "I fucking hate this show" Grade the series was back in business. Saward threw a shit fit, regenerated, and withdrew permission to use his script. Juicy drama.

More Bakers

Cholera is canon.

JNT hired Pip and Jane Baker to write a replacement final episode. For copyright reasons they couldn't be told anything about Saward's script.  

The new script ended on an optimistic note with the Doctor departing for new adventures. In keeping with this more "optimistic" stance JNT changed the script at the last minute to show that Peri didn't die in Mindwarp but survived and became Brian Blessed's queen. Nicola Bryant thinks this is bullshit. 

Sixie Gets Shafted

This was the last story to feature Coleslaw Raker as the current Doctor. Baker was fired by the BBC and JNT was ordered (apparently by Michael Grade) to recast the lead part for the following season. Baker was offered the chance to return for the traditional regeneration sequence in Time and the Rani but told them to go fuck themselves instead (Based Colin), so they replaced him with Sylvester McCoy as the "Sixth" Doctor, who was shortly followed by Sylvester McCoy as the Seventh Doctor.

Colin returned to the role in the 1993 charity special Dimensions in Time as well as audio adventures for Big Finish Productions.


Too many Bakers spoils the pie.

Meh, could've been worse. The Valeyard is a pretty cool guy. (for you)