The Sound of Drums

I'm not making myself very clear, funny is like this. Not funny is like this.
The Master loves earthly television.

The Sound of Drums
Season: 3
Episode: 12
Vital statistics
Air date 23 June 2007
Written by Russell T. Davies
Directed by Colin Teague
Episode guide
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Utopia Last of the Time Lords
"There were cracks. Some were tiny. Some were as big as the sky. Through some we saw worlds and people..."
Ten busts a move.
"The Master is prime minister of Great Britain!" - There, it's done. That's who Mr. Saxon was.

Here Come the Drums Here Come the Drums! is the second part of the Series 3 finale, following Utopia and preceding Last of the Time Lords. It features Russo Tee Davros's opinions on the presidency of George Bush and the prime ministry of Tony Blair. It's pretty good, but not nearly as good as Utopia, thus foreshadowing the tragic crash of quality to follow.


In terms of actual plot, The Sound of Little Drummer Boys is the episode of the new series most like a classic series episode. Don't misread, it was not like a classic series story, it was like a classic series episode.

The Doctor and his merry band of sodomites get an extra-special time traveling handjob from Jack Harkness, sending them back to Martha's time, which the Doctor had fused the TARDIS controls for. This actually hints at an interesting problem Davies had with the Master, which illustrates why he was only the villain of two stories: Davies couldn't cope with the concept of the Master having free access to time travel because if he does, doesn't he then just win the series? Seeing as it's a time machine and all? Such are the things that Time Wars are made of.

The Mattress is in charge of GB and does some dumb stuff. We're introduced to the Toclafane, who are a bit like Daleks made out of humans, only not in a Parting of the Ways sorta way. They chew up a news reporter, and wouldn't it have been hilarious if that was the last we saw of Sarah Jane Smith in the new series? Think about it.

Admit it. You got feels man.

So the Doctor is now a fugitive from justice, as he should be. He and his timesluts make TARDIS Key cloaks of invisibility, which is both kinda stupid and actually kinda genius. They then sneak onto the Master's SHIELD Helicarrier the Valiant, and the Doctor tries to reverse the polarity of the political flow and unmask the Master in front of the whole world. It fails, and the Toclafane swarm out of a crack in time and kill George Bush, then 1/10th of the population. The Master gets a visibly sexual thrill out of using "decimate" correctly, calling back to his perverse joy upon correcting Grace's grammar in the TV Movie.

The Master then does some really fucked up stuff to the Doctor, kills Jack, and sends Martha on a journey to tell everbody to watch Doctor Who, but that's a story for another time...


It's the long, slow, sloppy handjob that's clearly building up to something amazing, so even though it's actually a torturously slow story by modern standards, it's fairly well regarded. Then it all goes to shit.