The Secret History

The Secret History
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Vital statistics
Range Main Range
Release number 200
Release date 17 June 2015
Writer Eddie Robson
Doctor Fifth Doctor
Publication order
Previous Next
Last of the Cybermen We Are The Daleks

The Super Sekrit History is a Big Bag Bog ear play - the 200th in the Mainstream range, as a matter of fact - starring Peter Capaldi [citation needed] as Fievel Goes West, another, Pervier Peter as Steevun, and Maureen "Big Finish are the only people who hire me and the only channel I get is ITV3" O'Brien as Vycki. It starred the Meddiddling Monk and was Timey-Wimey as fuck.

Plot

In the spirit of a typical Hartnell-era historical, the Doctor and crew land in an ancient period of Earth's history (in this case, the siege of Ravenna), shit goes down and one of the companions gets kidnapped, so the Doctor and other companion(s) make it their quest to track them down while becoming best chums with some popular figure (in this case, general Belisarius and emperor Justinian). The kidnapped companion gets to experience the roughness of life in this time period, while the Doctor gets shit figured out.

Only one problem, though - the Meddiddling Monk has swapped out hard as nails Billy the Kid with the pretty celery boy in the hopes that the Doka will fuck up and get abducted by the Time Lords, so that the Monk can take over Mr. Who's timeline and do moar meddiddling as revenge for his fuckbuddy's death.

Told you it was Timey-Wimey.

Facts n shit

  • This is the third and final installment of the Locum Doctors trilogy, where a later Doctor gets chucked back to one of his earlier adventures as an excuse to bring the companions of the dead Doctors into a fully performed audio and not just stuck reading out Companion Chronicles forever.
  • Ayyyy, the big 200!
  • Uses the first Doctor theme despite technically being a Davidaughter story.
  • Fivey spends about a third of the runtime in a prison cell. Kek.

Reception

Pretty goddamn good, if you can get your head around it.