The Marian Conspiracy

The Marian Conspiracy
Vital statistics
Range Main Range
Release number 6
Release date March 2000
Writer Jacqueline Rayner
Doctor Sixth Doctor
Publication order
Previous Next
The Fearmonger The Genocide Machine

The Marian Conspiracy is an ear story by Big Brigg Dick Lick Productions. It starred Coin Baking's universally despised Sexth Doktah beginning his journey to become a Doctor people actually like, aided in this transformation by the introduction of Moogle Stooble as the sassy GILF teacher Evil Sith.


Mr Who stalks his new rape victim and tries luring her into his van with the promise of chocolate, but he fails since she already has her own. She also has timey-wimey stirring inside her, as her history is being erased by events involving her ancestors not happening yet. So, the two venture back to good ol' Tudor times where the timeline is fucked. Evelyn decides to get black out drunk and drown her problems away, while the Doctor toddles off to see the Queen. Thinking it's after 1558, he puts on a ruffle and hopes to give Eisabeth I a good ol' ruffle under the sheets if you know what I mean, but it turns out he got it wrong; it's 1555 and Bloody Mary is sitting on the throne with her period-stained cooch (he still fucks her anyway). Evelyn, completely smashed off her head by this point, loudly proclaims that Hell Bent is better than Heaven Sent, causing her to get in deep shit from the other drunkies and accidentally become involved with people who have similar views.

Loads of hijinks ensure involving people accusing Pie Lord and Chocolate Minge of being tr8rs, and this all comes to a head when they get thrown in the tower, which they would later end up in again 34 releases down the line (it's like pottery). However, MaREEEEEEEE lets them go when they stop an assassination attempt on her life, while also simultaneously resolving Evelyn's timey-wimey problem. Despite almost getting killed, being accused of treason, being locked up in the tower and having to confront one of the most notorious historical figures, Evelyn enjoyed this escapade very much and decides she wants to continue travelling with Mr Who for more adventures.


Fairly GOAT. Evelyn's very likable and believable as a historian, and her sharp insistent teacher-like attitude helps keep Sixie's previously despised dickishness in check, even if it had already been toned down in The Sirens of Time and Whispers of Terror.

Also, the story depicts Queen Mary as more than just an insane murderous pregger-but-not-pregger hoe that she is remembered as; it tries to develop her reasoning behind her views even if said views are wrong.

Despite its dark subject matter, it's also pretty comfy, with Mary insisting that she arranges a bride for the Doctor, and a pretty funny moment where Evelyn thinks the Doctor might be her ancestor. Some strong cliffhangers and believable performances thrown in here too.

Overall, it's pretty GOAT. Go listen, go go go!