The Keeper of Traken
|The Keeper of Traken|
|Air date||31 January - 21 February 1981|
|Written by||Johnny Byrne|
|Directed by||John Black|
The Keep-on Snackin' is the sixth serial of the super-spoopy Season 18 of Doctor Hoot. It starred Thomas Bakery in his penultimate role as the U.S. syndication Doctor and Matthew Waterhose as Adrique. It is regarded as the first of a trilogy meant to bring back The Master, with the following two serials, Leg-up-olis and Cassy-Valvey, acting as the second and third parts, respectively. Unfortunately, they succeeded. This story also introduces Nyssa.
The episode begins with Tom Baker, in a drunken rage, beating the life out of Waterhose while spouting technobabble. The director decided to let the film roll and made that the beginning of the episode. Then Jimmy Saville appears in the TARDIS in a golden chair, hopping about left and right, calling himself the Keeper of Traken. Four and Adric land on Trapper-Keeper and immediately fuck everything up by arriving at exactly the wrong time. They are introduced to Tree-Moss (played by Anferny Anally) and his wife Bitch, and their daughter qt3.14. The Cricket of Trenzalore told everyone a great evil was afoot, but forgot to mention that the Doctor was there to help (BRAVO SAVILE), and immediately everyone hates The Doctor instead of just Adric. As it turns out, Bitch was carrying flowers to this Milky fellow that landed on Trah-la-la years ago, and eventually Milky possessed her. Later on, Nyssa and Adric are left alone to fuck in the grove several times. It's GOAT.
Tree-Moss and Nyssa decide to side with the Doctor and help him find his TARDIS (which the Master hid to get some sick sexual pleasure out of the Doctor, as always) as well as combat the great evil lurking inside Bitch and Milky. Spoiler alert, Milky is actually the Mosster's TURDIS, and her plan is to get Bitch to become the new Keeper of the Tea Set since the old one is dying in order to become immortal or something. She succeeds and then she fails. However, she disguised her TARDIS as a clock and takes the body of Tree-Moss, and the Master blasts off again.
It was alright, I stopped paying attention at part 4 because I'm autistic.