The Five Doctors

This is the game of Rassilon
To lose is to win and he who wins shall lose


The Five Doctors
Five Doctors. Can't tell you what I'm thinking right now.
Five Doctors. Can't tell you what I'm thinking right now.
Season: Nope
Episode: 20th Anniversary Special
Vital statistics
Air date 23 November 1983
Written by Terrance Dicks
Directed by Peter Moffatt
Episode guide
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The King's Demons Warriors of the Deep

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Tom? What the fuck are you doing here?

The Three and a bit Doctors was a 90-minute Fivey story by Terrance "Give her the" Dicks for the 20th anniversary of Doctor Who in 1983. Only four (not five) incarnations of the Doctor were onscreen together as a waxwork of Tom Baker was accidentally hired instead of the real thing.

Story

The Doctors are kidnapped from their various timelines and dumped in the Death Zone on Gallifrey to play the game of Rassilon (except Four who is trapped in the Time Vortex.) SPOILERS: Corrupt Time Lords are behind it all. But at least it's not the Master for once.

The Master, the Cybermen, the Daleks, a Yeti and lots of old companions all make appearances plus it introduces the awesome Raston Warrior Robot.

The terrible fate of the villain of the episode would later be visited on an innocent nerd woman by the Tenth Doctor. Well, except that Borusa isn't getting throat-fucked by Rassilon every night. Probably?

NOT MUH FIRST DOC

The Eagles reunion tour.

After approaching William Hartnell and finding him somewhat dead and unavailable, Richard Hurndall was cast in his stead and did a pretty good job considering the First Doctor turns out to be the only one who gets shit done at the end.

NOT MUH FOURTH DOC

Tom Baker wasn't dead, just far too drunk. The solution to his absence was splicing in footage from the unfinished story Shada with a hastily-cobbled together explanation about being stuck in Romana's time vortex.

The Mordor Zone

One does not simply walk into the Death Zone.

The Death Zone looks a bit like Mordor and the Tomb of Rassilon looks a bit like Barad-dûr.

Reception

Luke, you will go to the Dagobah system.

Pretty lightweight story but overall a supremely comfy effort with the first appearance of Rassilon and some great interplay between the Doctors. Not a solid story by any means, just a chance to see all the same ol' faces once more in their respective roles; if you require nothing beyond that of it, it can be fun.

Trivia

To prove they're not really a No Fun Allowed zone, the TARDIS Data Core has a contest called The Game of Rassilon where you get points by creating a fully-detailed page to fix the red links about the guy who played a background character or that town that appeared on a road sign in a deleted panel from a comic or President Bruce Fucking Springsteen. One editor has 45000 points. And, unlike Borusa, he already knows what it means to win the Game of Rassilon, but… muh points! That's everything you need to know about the TARDIS Data Core.

...of course, we also have points, but it's totally different. We just make up stupid categories to get them.