The Eleventh Hour

The Eleventh Hour
A strong opener.
A strong opener.
Season: 5
Episode: 1
Vital statistics
Air date 3 April 2010
Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Adam Smith
Episode guide
Previous Next
The End of Time The Beast Below
Love from Porn Colin.
Jeff gets busted.

The Eleventh Hour was the debut story of the Eleventh Doctor and companions Amy Pond and Rory Williams back in 2010. It was also the first story of Series 5 and the Moffat dynasty.


So this new nigga that is already better than Tennant almost gets his balls chopped off by some autistic clock tower then the TARDIS crashes into Amelia Pond's backyard and oh man footface is into some deep shit when he makes a promise to the young girl and breaks it like the thug he is.

Starting his new journeys with Amy Pond this nigga prisoner LOSER starts to say "ayy lmao" and then some spooky corner-of-the-eye stuff happened that made the episode fucking great. They go to meet Rory and he is immediately cucked by The Doctor. Amy sees some shit and The Doctor tells some guy about porn. In the end they beat prisoner LOSER #loserlyfe and send the Atari away as a rousing musical clip that certainly won't ever get over used plays.

Amelia Pond and the Apple

The newly regenerated Doctor landed in a little girl's back garden and looked at her crack in her bedroom when her parents were asleep. He then forced her to cook him food while he constantly spat it out and threw it around - child sweatshop owners would have been impressed at what he managed to get her to cook in such a short length of time. He eventually cut a face into an apple because lol why not and offered to kidnap her (because he's just nice like that).

The Doctor left without her after and didn't return for a while because the TARDIS is a massive fuck-up and the Tenth Doctor fucked shit up even more when he regenerated (the utter cunt) and Eleven ended up getting chained to a radiator by the now-older Amy who proceeded to force dragon dildos up his anus for molesting her as a child and making her wait so long to get some real sexual satisfaction out of him.

Plot as retold by summaries of other episodes

In 1996, the Doctor landed for a single night. After a terrible regeneration, he salvaged his clothes from a hospital locker. When he took off in his magic box, that was the last some of us ever saw of him. Years later, in 2008, he re-appeared, saved the world, and then vanished until 2010. As for the actual events, the Doctor first exposed himself to Reinette when she was only 7 years old. He'd arrived because there was a hole in her wall that went right through time and space, a crack in the skin of the universe. When he first learned of Sally Sparrow's name, the Doctor was excited by how storybook it sounded. "You and me, girl investigators. Love it. Hey! Sparrow and Nightingale," he says, "That so works!" After telling her she'd had some cowboys in her bedroom, he vanished from her life until she was in her 20s. Upon his return, he and Rose's unimpressive slacker boyfriend had to work together to defeat the shapeshifting plasmavore before the Judoon blow up the hospital. When it takes on his form, the Doctor wonders "Who am I?" but is able to use mental manipulation to trick it into taking on its own form. The Master then congratulates Adric on "a perfect impression of yourself" just as the Judoon incinerate the plasmavore. However, just winning isn't enough, the Doctor has to then tell the Sycorax that earth and all its people are defended. "I should have told them to run," the Doctor decided, and so he told them they were in the biggest library in the universe, so they should just look him up.



GOAT episode. Just a shame it wasn't canon.

Autons have trouble with the bit with the Duck Pond, but don't worry about it, they explain it later.