The Doctor Dances

The Doctor Dances
Season: 1
Episode: 10
Vital statistics
Air date 28 May 2005
Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by James Hawes
Episode guide
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The Empty Child Boom Town
Nancy and Bane.
You're a Big Ben.
Go to your room.png

The Doctor Dances is the tenth episode of Series 1 and it's GOAT.


Nine and Rose visit World War 2. Nine ditches Rose and starts following some girl called Nancy around with the intent of slinging dick. Meanwhile Rose plunges to her death after slipping off a zeppelin. Her corpse is scooped up by Captain Jack who spends the remainder of the two-parter pegging it. Based Jack. Nine stays busy by stealing roast dinner from a bunch of orphans who starve to death as a result. Based Nine.

While dumping the orphans' corpses, Nine ends up in a hospital where there's some good scenes involving bananas and Doctor Constantine. Long story short Nine works out Captain Jack used a pod of nanobots to bait him but now they're turning people into empty gas mask zombies who meme about their mummys.


Nine stomps fuck out of everyone until the nanos work properly and the day is saved, but after discovering Nancy has a kid, he loses interest and ploughs Barrowman instead.


It's a pretty GOAT story. Everyone is on top form (yes, including Billie Piper) even if Rose continues to be written as a dumb slut at the expense of showing off how charming other characters are.

Example: Rose is already finding fault with the Doctor and bitches at him for not being able to scan for "alien tech." After being left alone for five minutes and somehow managing to almost die in that time, she is saved by Jack who CAN scan for alien tech. So Rose is all like "Finally, a professional" and gets fucking plastered as fuck, smokes some crack and blows him on top of an invisible spaceship in front of Big Ben. Even though she's just booted Mickey's ass to the curb for the Ninth Doctor a few episodes earlier, she's already set to cuck him with Jack. BRAVO RUSE.

Fortunately at the end of the story she is bitten by a giant rat and dies of the plague.