The Doctor's Wife

The Doctor's Wife
The Doctor and his Mistress.  Don't tell River. Is it me or does Smith's nose look huge in this picture?
The Doctor and his Mistress. Don't tell River. Is it me or does Smith's nose look huge in this picture?
Season: 6
Episode: 4
Vital statistics
Air date 14 May 2011
Written by Neil Gaiman
Directed by Richard Clark
Episode guide
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The Curse of the Black Spot The Rebel Flesh
Suranne Jones shows us her box.
Doctor's Wife Promo.jpg

The Doctor's Wife is the fourth episode of the Sixth Series of Doctor Who. It was the first episode written by Neil Gaiman, which made a shit ton of people from Tumblr really excited. People talk shit about Gaiman and this episode and Nightmare in Silver, but I really liked it, so this article will be written like it's a great episode. If you dislike it, tough cookies.


After getting an obscure reference box from his old fuck buddy, the Corsair, the Doctor takes Rory and Amy into a hot pocket universe to find zer. Upon arriving, the soul of the TARDIS is sucked out and put in a woman, because why not. This woman runs out and begins to try and rape the Doctor, which he is less than okay with for some reason. We then meet Uncle, Auntie, an Ood named Nephew, and House M.D., the planet they live on. After snooping around, the Doctor figures out that House M.D. eats TARDISES and that he put his TARDIS in the crazy woman.

Meanwhile, Amy and Rory are back in the Tardis, because the Doctor wanted some snogging time with his new mistress. House has put himself into the Tardis to try and burst out of his hot pocket, but before he goes, he decides to do some pretty fucked up psychological horror shit to Amy and Rory. Like seriously, it's disturbing.

The Time Lord and the Tardis Lady go out and build a Tardis console from all the dead Tardis parts around House M.D.'s old body. Along the way they have a lot of witty banter and probably snog for a little while. Great way to spend the time while Amy is getting mentally and emotionally raped, Doctor.

After some more wacky antics, everyone meets up in the old console room. I wonder how this bit would have gone if this had been a Ten story like it was supposed to be. Think they would have rebuilt an old console room? I doubt it, that's way too much budget for this show.

Anyway, the whole thing ends with them tricking House M.D. into zapping them back to the regular set and the Tardis flushing him out of her regular body. She then says some touching words to the Doctor before going back to being an unfuckable blue box. Sad ending.