The Caretaker

The Caretaker
Season: 8
Episode: 6
Vital statistics
Air date 27 September 2014
Written by Gareth Roberts and Steven Moffat
Directed by Paul Murphy
Episode guide
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In-depth analysis of the episode by anon.
The Doctor approves.

The Caretaker is the sixth episode of Series 8 written by Gareth Roberts and Sturgahn Blowfat. It is regarded as the greatest Eastenders episode of all time.


Twelvey becomes caretaker at Coalburner Hill School where he, Pancakes and Dead Man Walking try to stop a murderous robot called a Skovox Blitzer from killing every kid in sight.

Also features Courtney Woods as the Nightmare Child. Has some good dialogue.

Danny: I'm a maths teacher.
The Doctor: But what about all the PE?
Danny: I don't teach PE. I'm not a PE teacher.
The Doctor: Sorry, that seems very unlikely.
Clara: Er, excuse me, Mr. Pink, I think the class are waiting.
The Doctor: Yes, you better run along, Sergeant. That ball isn't going to kick itself, is it?
Danny: I'm not a PE teacher, I'm a maths teacher.
The Doctor: Nope, sorry. No, I can't retain that. I've tried. It's just not going in.


Plenty comfy. Won the BAFTA for greatest soap opera of 2014.

Behind the scenes

The score for this episode was originally intended for Chucklevision, however after the episode was scrapped, Murray Gold reused the music for The Caretaker.