THE SANDS OF LIFE
|THE SANDS OF LIFE|
|Range||The Fourth Doctor Adventures|
|Release date||11 February 2013|
|The Auntie Matter||War Against the Laan|
THE SANDS OF LIFE is a 2013 Fourth Doctor Adventures play by Big Dickish productions featuring durr guess who and the Unsexy Romana, but was recorded in 2012 before Mary Tamm transcended the mortal plane. It also featured Hayley Atwell, as well as alternate universe Doctor David Warner as the villain Cuthbert, because Doctor Who and recasting go hand in hand.
Basically, there are these space shits called the Laan who need to return to THE SANDS OF LIFE in order to bow chika wow wow, but they get confused and accidentally go to the wrong planet (take a guess which one). David Warner is pissed because they accidentally fucked up his time travel experiments while flying across space and he wants them to die because he's mean and nasty and stuff.
A noteworthy thing about this story is that the Laan have a psychic connection with Romana throughout the adventure and constantly scream THE SANDS OF LIFE in her mind. Like, literally every five or so minutes you hear this extremely loud female voice who sounds like she's on the verge of orgasm yell THE SANDS OF LIFE with loads of echoes and stuff. The Laan actually have a rather sexy voice for a creature that kind of looks like a cross between a whale and a seal according to the cover of the immediate follow up story War against the Laan. Oh yeah, this is one of those Big Finish stories that's split into two separate releases despite being the same story. Fuck you Nick Briggs, you murdered my wallet.
A pretty good story. It has a wide scope, and it has a similar idea to The Ambassadors of Death and Planet of the Ood where the real villains are just the humans fucking shit up, which is an idea that should probably be utilised more often because hoomanz aren't as wonderful as the Doctor makes them out to be.
"THE SANDS OF LIFE"
"WE MUST RETURN TO THE SANDS OF LIFE"