Solitaire
| Solitaire | |
|---|---|
| |
Vital statistics
| |
| Range | The Companion Chronicles |
| Release number | 4.12 |
| Release date | June 2010 |
| Writer | John Dorney |
| Doctor | Eighth Doctor |
Publication order
| |
| Previous | Next |
| Night's Black Agents | The Guardian of the Solar System |
Microsoft Solitaire™ is a Big Saggy Balls audio that surprisingly revolves very little - in fact, not at all - around the titular card game.
Story
An amnesia-stricken Charley Pollard ends up in the lair of the Celestial Ching Chong Yellow Oriental (insert any other offensive word for Asian here) Toymaker to play his game, but then it turns out she's not actually the one playing because the game has become sentient and is destroying the lair as a means to force the Toymaker to admit defeat by escaping in the Doctor's TARDIS... Oh, spoilers.
Things you should know
- It's part of the Companion Chronicles series, however it's actually fully performed like the Main Range, which is nice as I'm not really keen on narrated audios.
- Dr. Who is turned into a sex doll in this one, who only speaks when Charley shoves her hand up his arse.
- Sexy Polau is not in this one, so India fills in for him.
- The Toymaker is played by that guy who wore facepaint and breathed in helium in Voyage of the Damned: 70s Version.
- The Toymaker took Orson Welles to the Moon but didn't take Edith Thompson. Edith responded by killing herself.
Reception
Executes the idea of the Toymaker far better and far more interestingly than the original story, but then again that's not very hard to do considering the original story was shite and dull. Charley also proves herself very capable in this one, so if you've not heard her run with Based 8 yet then this may be a good taster for her character.
