Roblox Doctor Who Series
|Roblox Doctor Who Series|
|Season: Series 1|
|Air date||July 19, 2015 - October 31, 2015|
The Roblox Doctor Who Series was a stunningly bizarre series of YouTube videos of two boys ad-libbing Doctor Who stories in real time while playing around in a Minecraft-esque Doctor Who gameworld. They featured deep lore, moffuck-level twists, and general batshit insanity. Imagine a young Moffat improvising a complicated lore-heavy story in real time, with all the inconsistency and strange dialogue that implies. Also, all the Doctors are voiced with the exact same voice.
Features such gold as the War Doctor choking on war dust, the First Doctor insisting that his companions should believe his beliefs, the Doctor casually getting over Susan's death (???) by replacing her with Zoe, 10 calling 1 Doc, the Doctors forgetting their own catchphrases and resorting to "great Scott!", 10 referring to himself as Laddoc, the First Doctor addressing everyone with "gee, old chap", the Time War being called the war war, and the baking (yes, baking) of a new, better Gallifrey.
It was quite a hit on the stream.
Episode 1: The Book
10 finds a book on the history of the Time War in his TARDIS. He's very confused by this because Gallifrey is gone? I don't see how that precludes finding a book on the Time War.
Anyways, the TARDIS takes off by itself, then bursts into flame. 10 arrives on...Gallifrey? On a sky island, the last sky island of Gallifrey. Before realising where he is, 10 proclaims the planet "rings so many familiar bells". Then later he asks "how can I be here when I don't remember even being here?". He also worryingly says "oh dear" many...many times.
10 freaks out, jumps up and down heaps, then launches the TARDIS (the old girl - he will call the TARDIS "the old girl" an obscene amount of times throughout the series) into an unknown place that seems to be Earth, the USA, 1964. Keep this unknown place in mind. 10 ventures outside the TARDIS to explore this new location - "Let's go and face these amazing people!".
Episode 2: TARDIS Terrors
Eventually 10 finds another person there, a younger version of...the First Doctor. There is much confusion at first - "how, how just how!?". 1 is looking for Susan. He introduces himself as "the original spectacle, to be exact". 10 asks "don't you think he looks tired?". 1 then mixes up 5 with the Ainley Master. 10 explains he is also the Doctor to 1 by saying "Let's just say I'm [Susan's] grandfather, I'll put it as that", to which 1 replies "Hm, interesting, interesting".
(I get the feeling the only Classic Who episode the creator has seen is The Five Doctors, because there are a lot of references and misquotes of it)
10 and 1 decide the apparently Earthbound location is actually in the year 1999. "Well my young fellow" is said. 1 somehow knows who the Daleks are, even though this is a very young version of 1. So young that he jumps up and down, declaring "I'm old, but I still have a spring in my step!". He also requests that 10 "kindly refrain from calling me Doc". 10 replies "Okay, c'mon Doc!". What sass.
The two Doctors encounter a hurt Dalek. 1 tires of all the walking around - "maybe my legs aren't as well done as they used to be". 10 cries about losing Rose. They go into the TARDIS together, even though later episodes hinge off the supposed fact that's impossible.
1 hates 10's TARDIS, then quickly switches his mind and loves it. The whole exchange is bizarre. "Oh good lord you've redecorated" kills the joke because it takes out any suspense or build-up.
Then he goes senile and claims the TARDIS is making whirring noises and taking off, when it's not doing anything at all. 10 exits the TARDIS then it actually does take off, just with 1 inside.
Episode 3: The Time War
"She's landing, isn't he!?" 1 cries. "Deshishions, deshishions" he says, pondering whether to read the book on the Time War. 1 then reads the book about the Time War, which leads into...
...we the viewers being transported back in time, to the War Doctor's War adventures on War Gallifrey! After a peek inside in the War TARDIS, we are transported to the War Room, where a Soldier (important character, keep your eyes on him) tells a General/Chief/maybe even Rassilon that the Doctor has stolen the Moment (he also excitedly tells him that the Doctor stole a time machine, quite a shock on Gallifrey, maybe a few years late to the news though). I don't think "OHMAHGODTHEDOCTORSGOTTHEMOMENT" was how the 50th handled this scene.
The Soldier is accosted by Daleks, finding himself in "grave, grave, grave trouble my friend", but locates the War TARDIS and runs into it for safety. The monitor in the War TARDIS literally reads war police box.
The War Doctor tells the Soldier "do not say anything". A few moments of awkward silence ensue. Then they argue about the moral dilemma of using the Moment. The Soldier exclaims "damn!" and "oh dear!" , the two bicker about "Gallifreyan Daleks" (surely meant to be "Gallifrey and Daleks") but it does little to sway the War Doctor's resolve.
The Soldier: "It's not good, it's not safe!"
War Doctor: "Well, I dunno any other option to stop this Time War, ya know?
The Soldier suggests "create a prease cheaty with the Daleks!".
War Doctor: "If youse was in my shoes, would you do the same option?
The Soldier: "[coughs] I don't know, I'm becoming an old man you know [cough cough]"
Then the War Doctor seems to go senile and mix up what he's doing.
The Soldier: "Destroying Gallifrey!?"
War Doctor: "Do you want me to land back on Skaro where Daleks can kill you, or do you, do you want to come with me and help me save Gallifrey? Your choice."
The Soldier: "I'd rather save Gallifrey than destroy it!"
War Doctor: "...I'm sorry, but I'm destroying Gallifrey. There's nothing you can do about it."
The Soldier: "Hmm..."
Strange conversation follows. The Doctor randomly offhandedly says he wasn't born on Gallifrey. Coronation Street music starts to play softly, presumably the creator's parents in the background. The War Doctor clumsily says 10's speech about "sometimes I think the Time Lord lives too long" (the Soldier replies "how tragic"). The Soldier pleads to at least be deposited on Earth so he doesn't have to die with the rest of the Time Lords, and the War Doctor agrees to do such an act of mercy, in exchange for learning the Soldier's name. He reveals he doesn't have a name. So there goes that Earth idea.
They use the Moment ("how tragic" laments the Soldier in a dull monotone). The War Doctor then leaves the Soldier where they were, which was...I really don't know. The Barn is there, and sometimes they refer to it as Gallifrey, but they also say they just saw Gallifrey explode in the sky. The War Doctor says someone will pick up the Soldier in a few years. "I salute to thee! Au revoir!" says the Soldier as the War Doctor departs.
Back with 1 in 10's TARDIS, after reading the book with this history, the TARDIS takes off again. 1 says "young sir" to literally nobody. It's back on that "Earth" location in America - 10 and 1 are reunited. 10 reveals he sent 1 away on purpose. 10 reveals the location they're at doesn't actually seem to be 20th century America, but the year 4150, with no humans at all (let alone Americans). There's a forcefield that prevents people from entering unless they're from that era (?).
1 and 10 say many strange things to each other - "great Scott", "goosh", "unpenetrable". Eventually this golden exchange happens:
1: "Anyway, I need to find Susan."
10: "Oh, by the way, uh, I actually found her for you as well."
1: "Oh! That's really useful, thank you."
10: "Er, however, I've got some bad news."
1: "Uh, what's that?"
10: "Susan unfortunately...died."
10: "Uh, your TARDIS went a bit weird so I had to go inside and fix it, and well, it took me to, I think it was, 1986, 1987, between those two, and there was Daleks, and then unfortunately there was a battle, and she was, unfortunately, in the middle of it all..."
10: "Oh don't worry! You will meet another companion! I think her name's Zoe!"
After 10 (the young chap) reminds 1 (Doc) to try to keep his companions alive, 1 enters the TARDIS ("let's take this mother off!") and finishes off the episode with this speech, in black and white:
"One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, I want no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. And I hope that all of you will believe in all of my beliefs. It's time to change...goodbye Susan, goodbye Ian, Barbara, my friends."
1 regenerates into 2. Meanwhile, the Soldier stews on the Barn on...Gallifery? He proclaims ominously that "I am going to...make a...new Gallifrey. Perhaps that could work, yeah! Yeah! New Gallifrey! Hmm...but how good would that be? I'd have to bake it better. Somewhere that the Doctor wouldn't able to see it. Mm, yeah. Mm."
Episode 4: Double Trouble
This episode is pretty much all filler except for the ending.
10 walks around the "4150" so-called American location. He finds a heap of guns that he all but drools over (the man who NEVER WOULD). The Cloister bell sounds, and he reluctantly leaves the armoury. He finds himself transported into 12's TARDIS! The blackboard reads..."Listen".
Meanwhile, 12 is transported into 9/10's TARDIS. The creator attempts a Scottish accent for all of...maybe ten seconds? He mutters suspicious things about "Clara's turkey" then manages to send a message into his TARDIS, with 10 in it. 10 discerns that the "Listen" on the blackboard means he should listen to 12's message (which isn't shown, but presumably is instructions for fixing the TARDIS mishap).
10 screws it up (surprise surprise) and finds himself in a random house displaying a 20th Century Fox logo (???). Perhaps this is why so many characters warned 10 to not travel alone...
Eventually 10 and 12 get things working, 12 declares "fantastic!" (???), and all is back to normal. 12 gives 10 the following parting advice: "All the best of luck!" (a conflation of "All the best" and "best of luck"?).
12 thanks the old girl for taking off, continues onto unseen adventures, and 10 lands on the same mysterious location in, uh, 4150 AD? He doesn't recognise it (perhaps it's merely a re-used set, budget cuts and all). He finds a "person", and greets them with "Hello, I am Laddoc-"
Then there's a bizarre sequence back at the TARDIS where we hear a creepy voice rasp "Doctor, Doctor...". This is never followed up on.
Episode 5: The Old Enemy
Meanwhile, the War Doctor arrives in the same mysterious location. He finds 10's ("the spiky-haired one's") TARDIS, then goes off to search for 10. He declares the place an "empty carcass of a planet! No animals either!".
10 was actually captured by a Dalek that threatens to es-terminate him. 10 rattles off a couple of species he can remember that are threatened by a universe-threatening scenario that's come out of completely nowhere (seriously, this is the first mention of it). He also works out that there are so many Doctors converging here because his TARDIS has sent out a distress signal about that universe-threatening scenario, and other iterations of his TARDIS are picking up on it across time. He says something like "My chip sent Eminem an SOS signal".
10 starts coughing. The Dalek firmly states that "the coughing is not of Dalek cooze!". The Dalek goes off to locate the War Doctor, leaving 10 to philosophise.
"I sometimes, I sometimes wonder if what I have just done is the best thing by far, but I don't even know if, I don't even know if even if I will survive this. If I don't survive this...everyfink is loss."
The Dalek captures the War Doctor. The War Doctor timidly squeaks "I'm sorry for destroying the Daleks!" but it's no use, for the Dalek "has arranged a dill" with 10. 10 and the War Doctor don't get on, after the Dalek unites them. The Dalek laments the "time problem" threatening all species.
The dialogue gets seriously confusing at this point because 10 and the War Doctor have the exact same voice with the exact same inflection. Thank God the Dalek has some sort of modulator effect at least. The War Doctor admonishes the Dalek and "the sandshoe person" for wasting time. He eventually refers to the threat as a "fissure" so I assume it's meant to be like Amy's cracks?
They argue and negotiate for a while, trying to convince each other the Daleks and Time Lords need to unite to face the probl-...wait, the Time Lords are all dead, aren't they? We literally saw the War Doctor use the Moment to genocide them earlier. What is going on!?
The three set off to Skaro to try and convince the Emperor Dalek to help out with the problem, but the Dalek can't fit in a TARDIS, so 10 and the War Doctor sail off separately in their own TARDISes. The Dalek companion lasted for maybe twelve seconds. RIP.
10 fucks up his TARDIS again and it loses all power. A strange figure appears in his TARDIS...4, but wearing Minion glasses (it's horrifying) with a Minion head (eughrrr please mindwipe this out of my head 10). They joke about the Sontarans being genocided. The TARDIS begins to explode, to which 4 says "Meanwhilest, would you like a jelly baby?".
Episode 5.5: Prologue/Trailer to the Finale
I remember. All those years ago, back on Gallifrey...it was amazing. Everything that the Time Lords stood for...were amazing, back on the early days of Gallifrey.
When I first stole a TARDIS, I remember just heading out...to the, like, to the outsidewhereyoucouldseetheplanet. And I remember just slowly flying the old girl back in. So very slowly.
And then I landed on the outskirts. It was ama-it was beautiful. It was so beautiful. 'nd you see see Gallifrey - Citadel! Of the Time Lords. And I thought 'wow, this is beautiful', this is sooo beautiful'.
And then I took off, regenerated half a dozen times, and that's where I am...right now! 'Cause right now, I'm, I'm currently in a dark land. Funder, lightning, rain. All because of, I've, all because of I've lost my best friend.
I didn't want to lose him. Just couldn't. I just couldn't lose somebody like him again. I was too late.
So I'm just sat in my TARDIS. And maybe, the old girl needs to have a change, same as me. Well, not physical change. Just a couple of side changes. Here and there.
Because, I can't carry on holding on the past. Have to try, have to try and forget that I lost...my best friend. Maybe it's time for me to move on, find something new, find somebody who likes me for who I am. Hm. Maybe one day. One day...
Episode 6: Death (Series Finale)
10's TARDIS is aflame, just as in episode 1. 4 is nowhere to be seen. He exits, and finds himself above a, I think you say, convenience store. His TARDIS abandons him.
A nuke explodes in space? I think this is the "time problem"? Maybe?
Back on Earth (?) 10 finds a new TARDIS. It's 12's again. 10 walks over the console. He finds himself near the location in space where the nuke exploded. Then it takes him to Skaro.
10 protests that this, Skaro during the Time War, should be timelocked, but indeed he is at the very moment where the Soldier rushed into the War Doctor's War TARDIS earlier. 10 explores 12's TARDIS like it's the first time he's seen it, even though he already has earlier in episode 4.
Suddenly we're in 9/10's TARDIS with 9. He's resolved to go pick up the Soldier that he left stranded so long ago on Gallifrey (seriously what the hell, they literally both say they destroyed Gallifrey and that they watched it getting destroyed from the planet they were on, but then that planet is also meant to be Gallifrey and the Barn is there?).
We cut the Soldier, and the New Gallifrey he has baked and.....................it's the mysterious "Earth" "4150/20th Century" location! What a twist!
9 meets the Soldier again. They argue over how long the Doctor left the Soldier (the Soldier maintains it was ten years, the Doctor says it was merely one). They bicker over the Soldier's plans to start Gallifrey and the Time Lords anew. The Doctor says the Time Lords were corrupt, the Soldier says "They were impeccable!".
To remind the Soldier of how corrupt they were, 9 asks him to remember "The Last Great Day of the Time War". Not the last day of the Time War, or the last day of the Last Great Time War, but the last "great" day of the Time War. Were there many great days in the war?
The Soldier tells of how he grew houses, trees, and concrete from sand (?). They both argue over what planet exactly they're on (beats me).They travel in the TARDIS and 9 gets annoyed that the Soldier spoils details about 10 to him. The TARDIS bursts into flame again (before?). They freak out about the ladder being on fire.
Then 9 gets really suspicious of the Soldier. He takes a closer look at him and keeps repeating that he "looks really familiar".
At this point I think it's worth saying I'm pretty sure all the timestream crossing, paradoxes, timeline interplay and all that messiness is what's fucked up the Doctor's minds and memories and made them all fairly amnesiac and senile. I don't know if that was the intention, but it makes a tonne of sense. The Soldier does accuse 9 of "making it up as you go along!" so there's some meta aspects at play here.
Anywho, 9 and the Soldier find themselves on Earth. They hear buses. It seems to be London. But it doesn't look right. Big Ben is awfully small, and in the middle of a roadway. There's the Golden Gate Bridge for some reason too.
They then agree the TARDIS is turquoise (???). They find 12's TARDIS, that 10 is currently in. The Soldier enters. He tells 10 9 is outside. They begin to mock 9.
10: "It's not the short one with the weird leather jacket is it?"
The Soldier: "Yeah, it's the one with the big ears! Don't, don't tell him about that I said that, honestly."
10: "Ugh, him? Ugh, hate him!"
The Soldier: "Seriously, I look at him and it's like he's about to take off!"
10: "To be fair, if you think his ears are weird, did you see the War Doctor's?"
The Soldier: "Ha!"
10: "Uh, actually, he's not a Doctor."
The Soldier then reasserts he is here to rescue 10, though as he says it, he realises no one has captured 10, almost as if the story is being made up as it goes along. 10 declares that he must see one of his companions - "Spike".
10 takes off, and the Soldier meets back up with 9. They talk of "Spike". 9 takes the Soldier back to New Gallifrey, and life goes on.
Meanwhile, the Dalek we saw earlier (I'm guessing, they all look the same) says it has located "Spike". An unseen voice commands the Dalek to kill Spike, in such a method that it makes the Doctor vulnerable enough to be killed as well. Well, I say "commands". He actually says "your orders, should you choose to accept them" (yes, I know, orders tend to lack the element of choice).
The Dalek proceeds to exterminate Spike. Sad piano music plays. 10 visits Spike's grave and says "goodbye old friend, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to end like this, goodbye".
An ending title card pops up. Turns out Spike was the channel. Or the friend that voiced the Soldier? In either case, it was a meta moffuck style ending eulogising the death of the series, of the story itself.