Revenge of the Cybermen

Revenge of the Cybermen
Revenge of the Cybermen.jpg
Season: 12
Episode: 5
Vital statistics
Air date 19 April - 10 May 1975
Written by Gerry Davis
Directed by Michael E. Briant
Episode guide
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Genesis of the Daleks Terror of the Zygons
"NO! NOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA WATCH THIS STORY!"
Tom trying to stay awake during filming.

Revenge of the Cybermen, aka The One where the Cybermen were utter shit, was the final story of Tom Baker's first season and is, if the alternate title didn't give it away, the one where the Cybermen were utter shit.

Story

So after the events of GOATESIS of the Daleks, the Doctor, Mary Jane and Hairy arrive on Nerva Beacon from The Ark in Space but BEFORE Ark in Space, where they find a plague has killed off a lot of the crew.

They soon discover that it is a Cybermat infecting people because of reasons, and then the Cybermen show up to take over the station. They want to destroy Voga, a planet caught in the orbit of Jupiter (so, technically a moon then? no, because it's not an egg) that brought about the near-destruction of the Cyber race due to it being constructed entirely out of gold, and the Cybermen aren't into jewelry at all; you'd think they would be though considering the Cyber Leader constantly put his hands on his hips in a very camp manner, which suggests he likes to take it in the dumper from time to time.

Anyway, so they tie some bombs to the Doctor and a couple crewmembers' backs and send them to the heart of the planet moon where they will detonate and die. There are some inhabitants who look like Easter Island heads and they and some double agent dude bicker about some shit I can barely remember until the Cybermen retreat to their phallic spaceship (yup, they're definitely gay) and just sorta... die... Then the TARDIS arrives and they all leave, the end.

Trivia

The filming for the parts set inside the planet was done at Wookey Hole caves, which were rather spoopy and are in fact, not made of gold fyi.

There's also a random boat there which Sarah uses at one point... Dunno why it's there, but ah well. Lez Sledding almost died irl filming this piece of piss.

Reception

It's boring. It's really, really boring. Things seem to drag out and the characters just go on and on and on about dull shit. Granted, there are a couple decent moments like that time Sarah gets attacked by the Cybermat, the tense heartbeat-like timer that accompanies the Doctor as he makes his way to the heart of Voga, and that scene with Nerva flying really fast around the aforementioned planet moon. The action scenes are also pretty awesome, and the design of the Cybermen is pretty good. (Actually they're shit - ed.) But overall, there's a lot of tedious crap. This is one of those very very few Classic series stories that could've done with the crack-fed 2fast5u pace of NuWho.

Oh yeah, at least the main cast are GOAT.