Pip and Jane Baker
Coming down the lane,
Here comes gag,
Here comes fag,
And here comes Pip and Jane!"
-Special intro theme for Terror of the Vervoids.
Philip "Pip-pip" Baker and Jane Baker (now deceased and yet somehow still a threat to the programme's future) were a husband-and-wife writing team professionally known as "Pip and Jane Baker" who are primarily known for their downright disastrous contributions to classic Doctor Who.
- The Mark of the Rani (1985)
- Two The Trial of a Time Lord stories (parts 9–12 and 14): Terror of the Vervoids and The Ultimate Foe (1986)
- Time and the Rani (1987)
All four were so bad that they very nearly completely ruined the show forever. I don't think anyone likes these stories even a little bit (except me) and if they do they're goddamn right to be afraid to mention so in public lest they be held up to ridicule. Seriously, these were just about the nadir of the show’s deep slide down into its Mariana Trench of quality in the 1980s, some of the worst Doctor Who ever made. There have been Doctor Who coloring books for the mentally-handicapped that were better.
Pip's brother Bob (who he also claims he's not related to), was in on a few good stories, so maybe Pip should have listened to him.
The Return of the Rani
If the Rani ever does come back, they'd probably be the ones to do it, with Pip-pip collaborating with his deceased wife through some sort of ghostly seance to channel their special brand of crap from beyond the grave.
Next time you think you hate Moffat, give these episodes a spin and relax.
They knew what Doctor Who fans liked- procedural stories about wandering down corridors. Mathieson could learn a thing or two.