Newfag

>being this new
Newfag.gif
Zoe New.jpg
Pertwee Malign Force.png
New to /who/.

"Beware the beast Newfag, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he shitposts for sport or lust or egotism. Yea, he will claim to posses great knowledge of a subject or community that he knows nothing of. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his forum and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his subreddit, for he is the harbinger of death."

Newfags (Nubius Whovian) are a intermediate breed of Doctor Who fans, who have an interest in the show who have not yet earned the right to call themselves fans, they have the t-shirts and the mugs, they hang the exploding TARDIS painting on their wall, but inside, they are not Who fans, they may even have girlfriends, or use deodorant . Like lepers, it is unfair to persecute these people, yet you recognize the dangers of going near them and letting them infect you.

If you are a newfag, it is not the end, it is important to recognize your disability and to act on it, by lurking, learning the ins and outs of the community, and gaining knowledge on Doctor Who before engaging in any kind of critical discussion.

  • Using the names of Classic Doctors as a form of obscure trivia
  • Asking when they're going to set a story on Gallifrey
  • Thinking the Doctor gets younger with each regeneration
  • Thinking Daleks are robots
  • Not giving the chap with the wings five rounds rapid
  • Thinking Rose is best girl
  • Claiming the Doctor's true name is Theta Sigma
  • Calling the Doctor "Doctor Who"
  • Saying Tennant is the greatest Doctor because he's the sexiest
  • Not being able to name a classic companion who isn't Sarah Jane
  • Being legitimately worried that Peter Capaldi will swear as the Doctor
  • Calling Colin the worst Doctor
  • Not knowing Davros's true name
  • Trick question you piece of shit, his true name is Davros, I see you reaching for google
  • Asking why all the aliens have British accents

See also