|Air date||28 February 1981 - 21 March 1981|
|Written by||Christopher H. Bidmead|
|Directed by||Peter Grimwade|
|The Keeper of Traken||Castrovalva|
Legopolis (working titles: Flour For Baker and AAAAHHHHHHHH!) was the seventh serial of the 18th Season of the television programme Doctor Whatsit. Written by Christopher H. Birdbeak, it inspired every NuWho finale in existence by being very overblown without a satisfying resolution. Russel Le Davros has gone on record saying this is his favorite Doctor Who episode ever.
The serial is the second in a trilogy by Birdbeak (though the first bit, Sneaker of the Kraken, wasn't by Bigmeat, but is still considered part of the trilogy I guess) about math, computers, entropy, and other boring shit. It's the fucking worst and I hate it, I say that as a fan. The story picks up from where The Creeper of Tolkien left off.
The Pedo Doctor decides he needs math (meth) to fix the chameleon circuit and decides to land around another police box in 1980s England (where else?). But, of course, it ends up being the Master's TARDIS and he gets stuck in an infinite loop with Adric. The Master stops playing around and The Doctor and Adrick escape. BRAVO BIRDBEAK.
Then the Fourth Doctor meets Heathrow whose Auntie ends up being turned into a sweet action figure. The Doctor gets jealous and decides to go to Leggo-my-eggo-polis to get one made of himself and also to find a way to finally fucking leave Adric behind. Neither happens and the rest of the episode is a disappoint.
On Look-up-a-lich, The Doctor meets an old friend called the Monitor who acts as a literal human monitor to the people of Lookout!polish who do calculations all day long to keep entropy at bay, because the universe was supposed to collapse long ago or something (I am not making this up). The Master blows shit up and destroys Logocity, which in turn causes entropy to blow more shit up. Then the Doctor lets whitey pilot his TARDIS to protect Nyssa (oh yeah, she got here too) and Adric, but Heathrow is too whiny to go with him and she ends up being left on Log-my-penis with the Doctor and the Master who try to save the world using a giant boob modeled after a giant boob on Earth. Entropy gets there first so they escape in the Mattress' TARDIS to Earth to the original boob before entropy cancer gets that one too. Meanwhile, Adric and Nyssa watch the universe die and make love. Afterwards, they decide to land on Earth, the only planet left in the universe (because plot convenience) to fuck there too, but end up finding Missy and the Rad Doctor feeling up a giant boob to save the universe.
They succeed but the Master is evil and laid out a bunch of Legos underneath the boob for the Doctor to fall onto (hence the title, LEGOnipplis). Then the Doctor, stupid as he is, challenges the Master to a jumping off a boob contest, and wins. He then lands on the legos and regenerates (because Legos are OP) into an inhuman emotionless husk. And that's not even mentonning the Watcher! . This leads directly into Fivey's first story, Castrate-vulva.
- Reminder that Doctor? Doctor! Doctor...
- Apparently Four must have had a really shit body since Ten managed to fall out of the fucking sky with merely a scratch.
It is in earnest one of the best episodes ever.