Kill the Moon
|“||No... twas hype that killed the moon.||”|
— The Doctor, closing lines.
|Kill the Moon|
|Air date||4 October 2014|
|Written by||Peter Harness|
|Directed by||Paul Wilmshurst|
|The Caretaker||Mummy on the Orient Express|
See also: The Moon.
In the same way that gravity objectively exists, Kill the Moon is notable for objectively being the greatest episode of Doctor Who ever made – a brute fact of the universe first observed by Albert Einstein in 1956.
After viewing the episode, Russell: The Davies set up a press conference to announce his heterosexuality, stating that “it opened the way for me to stop sucking dicks”; and Jamie Mathieson attempted suicide due to reservations about the quality of his own writing.
Kill the Moon also influenced Christopher Nolan’s blockbuster Interstellar.
Kill the Moon is by and large one of /who/'s most divisive episode of Series 8, if not all time. It was incredibly hyped up by an anon who kept posting copypasta about how it would be the true beginning of the golden age, but it's been pointed out that was /who/'s own goddamn fault for believing that shit poster and that they should never go into something having swallowed all the hype, because that ruins everything. A few anons (me) came out of the episode with no hype at all and still hated it. BRAVO HARTNELLS.
When it aired all we got was Saturday morning cartoon science that was actually just fantasy instead, more like a fairy tale really, a hamfisted anti-abortion allegory that doesn't actually exist because the Brits are fine with baby-killing, and a plot that failed to cohere. It did have some great moments with Peter Capaldick fucking off and leaving Clara in the breach and a moment near the end on a beach where we actually get to see the Doctor smell the timestream changing for the first time onscreen. But yeah, some people did hate it; pretentious fuckers (read: pudding brains) were over the moon in love!
What we learned in Killer Moon
- "Everything's dangerous if you want it to be. Eating chips is dangerous. Crossing the road. It's no way to live your life." BRAVO HARNESS, DEEPEST LORE, etc.
- "We didn't nip out after pudding and kill Hitler. I've never killed Hitler. And you wouldn't expect me to kill Hitler." And with those words, Kill the Moon symbolically erases the previous worst episode from canon and becomes the new worst episode.
- A poor kid from East End London can become a female US president.
- If you are accused of being a loser, don't achieve goals yourself, have important things happen around you.
- Don't listen to the Earth when they beg you to abort an alien that is destroying your planet.
- The tidal influence of the moon doesn't exist.
- A giant creature with an incubation period of 39 million years can lay a new egg equal to it's own size 30 seconds after hatching.
- Ask how to kill the space dragon moments after the Doctor describes how beautiful and unique he thinks it is, this will make the audience side with the pro life camp.
- Eggs get heavier when they develop (this one is actually true though.)
- Single celled organisms have a carapace, teeth, claws, a stomach, eyes with you know, light sensitive cells.
- There are NO MINERALS ON THE MOON.
- The Waters of Mars is no longer canon.
It was utter shit.