John Smith

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Picture of John Smith, taken during his first viewing of the show.

John Smith was an alias used by the Doctor throughout his travels. Used by the Second, Third, Seventh, Eighth, Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth Doctors.

The real John Smith, a viewer of the show, sued the show for using his name. Steven Moffat declared war, and decided not to write good scripts after Series 5 due to this. Way to go, John!

John Smith was also the name of Matt Smith's dead dog, which he "accidentally" killed when auditioning for the role of the Doctor.

David Tennant used John Smith as an alter-ego for his alternate life of being a gay prostitute in Bristol.

Sylvester McCoy named his son John Smith, whom he raped and killed at the age of 17, previously being sexually abused all his life.

Steven Moffat named his dick John Smith in honor of the show he was running, Doctor Who. Leaked pictures of his dick were found, looking very short, fat, and being uncut.

John Smith was known to get "mad pussy" in the folklore stories the people of Gallifrey would tell to their children. He was also a wise philosopher, writing many classic tunes like "Turn Down For What" and every Nickelback song ever written.

He was last seen fucking a young native girl named Pocahontas in the ass.

Not to be confused with Johann Schmidt.