Human Resources

Human Resources
Vital statistics
Range Eighth Doctor Adventures (the audio ones)
Release number 7 & 8
Release date July - August 2007
Writer Eddie Robson
Doctor Eighth Doctor
Publication order
Previous Next
No More Lies Dead London
The other cover. Told you it wasn't as interesting.

Human Resources, alternatively named The Office: Cyber edition, is the sixth and final story of Series 1 of the audio EDAs. Starring Maul GcPann as THESE SHOES and Smitherdan Sher as Lucie "my auntie Pat is a zygon" Miller, it saw them do battle with the Cyberguys, who have their design from The Invasion, yet talk with the voices of the Cybus ones combined with the sing-song inflections of The Tenth Planet versions. BRAVO, BRIGGS.

Also sees the end of the Headhunter stalking Lucie arc, though she still turns up in future ear stories.


So Lucie's been abducted by the Head-giver and shoved into a war machine (no not that kind) that's disguised as a boring office job. The Doctor, having grown quite fond of Lucie, follows in hot pursuit and finds that these machines are made to be like Hitler on alien planets, essentially. He decides to give the Jews in this situation an advantage, only it turns out they're Cybermen, so the Doctor dun fucked up. Then it turns out the whole thing is part of a cock measuring contest between the High Council and the CIA, and there's a crystal that conveniently makes all the Cybermen lose. The Headhunter then gets bored of wanting to diddle Lucie and kidnaps her best friend instead.

Lucie and the Doctor then go off and fuck have many more adventures of this high quality.


I didn't even know it was possible to set an interesting, well crafted story in a dull office complex. GOAT.