Exile (Uncanon Audio)

The Doctor in between one of her alcoholic binges. As this was set right after War Games, the world is still in black and white

One of the Big Finish's Unbound audios. It involves the Doctor. . .who now has etheric beam locators. It nearly didn't get made, as every time they tried to record, Peter Davison would come in and start making duck noises and screaming "NON-CANON." Davison relented that when David Tennant, who was playing a CIA Agent, promised to stop trying to date Davison's daughter. In an uncharacteristic moment of naivete, Davison actually believed him. With that, everyone went back to recording belching noises for the audio.


The Doctor is in some British country that I forgot the name of. She's hanging out with some working class people, getting drunk off her behind, and getting hit on by some dude. Also, she's going by the name "Susan", and getting menaced by the mental projection of her last incarnation played by Nicholas Briggs because of course he is.

At the same time, 2 members of the CIA are trying to find the Doctor to bring him back to a trial on Gallifrey. They know she's on Earth, and they're Eldritch creatures beyond time and space (as most American operatives are), so why are they having trouble? Because they are absolute IDIOTS. It becomes very clear around the time they try to draw out the Doctor by robbing a bank. What makes this bearable is Tennant hamming it up, and getting to hear a Time Lord say "shit." (The story makes more since if you think it's really the "Tennant as the Tenth Doctor" just screwing with the CIA.)

Finally, the Doctor and the CIA meet, with the climax taking place at the bar. Tennant and the other dude arrest the Doctor after getting her very drunk, and it is implied that they set her up to perish, though it's ambiguous. Either way, it's absolutely stupid. Arabella Weir plays a good Doctor, though. So anyone you says a woman can't be a Doctor can shove it.

The Doctor belches, farts, and throws up her way through the story. There are some interesting ruminations from the Doctor and fate, and all that crap, but you can barely hear it past all the vomiting. It's GROSS!

Canon and Continuity?

It's about 5.3 canons. I set it somewhere between The Macra Terror and my dream about Zoe last night.