|Air date||8 July 2006|
|Written by||Russell T. Davies|
|Directed by||Graeme Harper|
|Army of Ghosts||The Runaway Bride|
Doomsday was Superman's deadliest foe, succesfully crushing the life from his bones, at least until he was resuscitated and left in a healing coma for a year during which four posers took over. Some shitty TV show ripped off the name and death narrative, though, which is why we're here.
"What has blown can be sucked." Cybermen are a level 4 villain with only 2 attack power, so Russell inserts Daleks, a level 7 villain with 5 attack power and 10 scare factor according to Doctor Who Trading Cards. The Cult of Skaro emerge from their big ball and proceed to kill Rose and her friends of all races, after identifying them as Daleks, Sec realizes that they are vital to their plan an spares them, apart from the minor scientist character who they dub "The least important" after reading the script. Detecting sucker brain melting technology, the Cyberleader sends scouts to investigate the sphere chamber rather than the hacking surveillance monitors like a smart person. Dalek Thay is sent to intercept them, and after a short pissing contest they both discover that Daleks look like shit and don't give a fuck, the Cyberman suggests that their techonology is compatible after a brief encounter with only one member of the Dalek species without even knowing anything about their technological capabilities, or whether they are organic or not. The earthbound homeless Cyberman proposes an alliance with the time traveling galaxy conquering bronze gods of war, and as you'd expect gets turned down. After yet another meme off, the Daleks make their intentions clear, humans and Cybermen alike will be slaughtered in their wake. Agitated the Cyberleader sends his human prisoners including Jackie Chan to be upgraded immediately, and interrogates the Doctor in a brood off accompanied by Linkin Park music.
A group of soldiers then zap into the room and kill the surrounding Cybermen, they and the Doctor travell back to a parallel world where they identify themselves as an alternate version of Torchwood, presumably headed by Pete "not muh wife" Tyler.
After the Daleks pressure Rose to touch the bell like head of teh Genesis ark, to "awaken it" she provokes the Daleks by telling them the fate of the emperor, infuriated by the shit writing, the Dalek tells her she will be exterminated. Just in time, the Doctor with his meme glasses enters the scene. After exploding the doors with his magic screwdriver, the Cybermen armed with zappy guns enter the scene, Mickey losing balance whilst carrying a stolen TV accidentally touches the Genesis Arks mighty phallus and awakens it. The Doctor and co escape in the crossfire. During the frenzied escape they encounter Jackie, who escaped under inexplicably lucky circumstances and the epic confrontation between two cyborg races slows down so that we can ponder on her and Pete's emotional problems.
The Cult of Skaro enter a massive warehouse full of hundreds of Cybermen, and are embroiled in a shootout that can only be described as "so dense", after entering the crossfire the Doctor obtains two fucking huge ass magnets and returns to a safe location, where he observes the Daleks leaving the building and realising the contents of the Ark. The Doctor discovers that the ship is a trans dimensional prison holding millions of Daleks.
The Doctor sticks the magnets to the walls near some levers which he will use to inexplicably pull all the Daleks and Cybermen around the world into the void. He tells the others to teleport through to the Parallel Earth where they'll be safe from the succ, however they will never be able to return because reasons. Rose refuses to go and the Doctor is like "Ok". They pull the levers, grab onto the magnets, and despite the sheer strength that would be needed to suck all the Daleks and Cybermen AROUND THE WORLD into the void, their arms don't instantly snap from the power of the vacuum.
We get a montage of Daleks being sucked into the void and curiously very little Cybermen. The Doctor's plan is succeeding, but one of the levers conveniently begins to switch itself off so Rose lets go of her magnet to reach for the lever and keep it active. It conveniently locks itself upright, meaning once all the Daleks have been succ'd, she can't just pull the lever down again to prevent herself from getting succ'd too. Fortunately this is the RTD era; if it were Moffat's era, the Doctor would just wiggle the overpowered screwdriver at it and fix it. Anywho, she lets go because she's a noob and begins falling in slow motion. Pete zaps in however and saves her just in time, taking her to parallel Earth just before the void closes forever. The Doctor then makes out with the void wall.
Rose hears the Doctor's voice in her dreams and so her family drive her all the way to bloody Norway to follow the voice, instead of assuming the sane explanation that it's a side affect of suffering PTSD from being separated from the Cocktah. Doesn't matter though, because it turns out the voice was luring her to a projection of Teninch, sent across dimensions to say goodbye to Rose properly and powered by the destruction of a sun. After two minutes of awkward smalltalk and Billie Piper doing that weird smiley-crying face she does, the power cuts out just as the Doktah is telling her he loves her. Mari's "FEEL SAD, GODDAMMIT" music kicks in, and the two of them cry forever. It's OK though, Rose is comforted by her mum and the Doctor is comforted by Donna's nobles.
- This episode is the Daleks' first crude attempt to force a meme. Their meme-forcing technology would become much more blunt and brutal by the time of Victory of the Daleks.
- The Doctor trolling his shippers so hard that they went around the loop and came back even more loyal was successful, but it weakened the walls of reality, leading to the formation of tumblr early in 2007.
- The reason you don't remember any scenes between those two is that RTD knew nobody would remember anything else from this story and didn't bother to write anything.
- True fans will remember that 1970s stage play where the only thing that can stop Doomsday is if Jenny (not that one, or that one, the one played by Zoe) and Jimmy find the Seven Crystals of Karn for the Fourth Doctor (not that one, the one who doesn't have or need a page) before the Clawrantulars find them for the Daleks. Fucking Jimmy.
- There's a deleted scene from this story that's so dumb that it makes "I don't want tuggo" and "Rose would know..." look like somewhat decent, well written moments by comparison. In it, the Doctor essentially says "Lol Earth's fucked. Hey, maybe this Cyberman can be muh new Roes!"