|THE NEW SHOWRUINER'S BRAINCHILD LADIES AND GENTS|
|Air date||5 November 2006|
|Written by||Chris Chibnall|
|Directed by||James Strong|
|Ghost Machine||Small Worlds|
"SHE'S A Cyberwoman. NOT YOUR WAIFU."
"Cyberwoman" is the fourth and worst episode of the first series of the British science fiction television series Touchwood. Written by Chinballs, Cyberwoman is a thought-provoking allegory about man's relationship with his sex dolls.
It centres on Ianto's attempts to keep his girlfriend alive in spite of her incomplete Cyber transformation. The production team's unique take on the body horror of the Cybermen is radically different from that heard in works such as Spare Parts; significantly, they interpret the incomplete Cyberwoman as having a revealing sexy fetish outfit complete with Cyber cone titties. (Rumour has it that this inspired RTD to actually stage a remake of The Tenth Planet in which all of the Cybermen were redressed in similarly erotic gear, lending the classic story a visceral new edge for the modern day. The specific clip in which the actor portraying Ben is briefly dry-humped is still the fourth most sought after historical artifact in the BBC wankbank.)
Honestly, towards the end, the titular Cibberylass's desperation to survive does have a bit of an echo of the freakishness of the Mondasians. However this is sort of subsumed by the comically over-the-top horror of her cutting open someone's head and putting her brain in then bloodily stitching it back together, along with the histrionics of the useless Torchwood team bitching at each other, and the heart-rending resolution wherein they just shoot her to death with a shitload of bullets. I think. Honestly the specifics are a bit hazy, but what does stick in the memory is that it's verging on so-bad-it's-hilarious territory. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make a webm of the bit where she punches the pterodactyl.
Had some good bits, too bad it went over the top, and made the Cyberwoman look like a Kissogram