|"Oh my god, Peter, you're going to become a twat!"|
|Other roles||Fake Ian, Hey Arnold|
|Born||29 December 1928|
|Status||Alive and crying at Donna's wedding.|
When Jon Pertwee decided to retire as the Doctor so he could stretch his acting chops with Worzel Gummidge, he recommended Cribs as his replacement. In an alternate timeline, Bernard played the Fourth Doctor for the next 18 years, which led to the end of the Cold War and a golden age of worldwide peace and prosperity.
However, in the main timeline, someone found an interview where Cribs had agreed that there was no reason Doctor Who couldn't have more violence in it, and the producers were scared of Mary Whitehouse, so instead they went with Tom Baker, making all late-70s Who non-canon. Cribbins consoled himself by doing the kind of acting work you get an OBE for instead (like Hitchcock movies) and being the best-selling novelty musician in the UK, but he never achieved every actor's dream, doing ads for Prime Computer.