An Unearthly Child
|An Unearthly Child|
|Air date||23 November - 14 December 1963|
|Written by||Anthony Coburn|
|Directed by||Waris "Demographic Checker" Hussein|
|None, dumbass, it was the first one.||The Daleks|
An Unearthly Child is the first episode of Season 1 of Doctor Why. It's also one of the comfiest, but be warned that after this episode it's just one long downhill in slide in quality over the next 54 years.
The plot involves Ean Cheddarton and Baabarah Write (the most based companions) finding out that one of their students, Susan, is the granddaughter of a weird pedo that lives in a junkyard, calls himself a Doctor and says he's an alien. It turns out he is really an alien and no one is raped in the junkyard that day. They are kidnapped and taken away from everything they know and love instead.
They all end up on another planet (I think. It could be fucking anywhere, it's not like they explain it). The Docmuh lights a blunt and a bunch of cavemen kidnap him to learn the secrets of blazing it, with Suzzle and her teachers following suit. One of the cavemen was Za. He was no leader (yet).
After a couple episodes of rock, fire and bestiality shenanigans, everyone eventually escapes the cavemen (the Doctor bashes the skull of one of them with a fucking rock) and lives happily ever after. I mean, what could possibly be worse than insane caveman from another planet right?