Amy's Choice

Amy's Choice
Pissed as a fart.
Pissed as a fart.
Season: 5
Episode: 7
Vital statistics
Air date 15 May 2010
Written by Simon Nye
Directed by Catherine Morshead
Episode guide
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The Vampires of Venice The Hungry Earth
>tfw the village is dull as fuck
Ay yo gurl u want sum fuk?
Amy... I don’t feel so good...

Amy's Pregnancy Porn is the 7th episode of Series 5 of Doctor Valeyard. It was written by Not-Bill Nye, best known for writing the sitcom Men Behaving Badly. Jesus Christ, a fucking sitcom writer? What the fuck were they thinking? FUCKING DROPPED.

But seriously, it was a pretty good episode.


Eleven, Amy and Rory drop acid and are paid a visit by The Valeyard Straxus The Dream Lord. The episode is split between two separate realities which they keep jumping between - in one, Amy and Rory are married and are being hunted by hideous old people, while in the other they are on board the TARDIS about to be frozen to death by a cold star.

The Dream Lord tells them one of these realities is a dream he has created and the three must figure out which is the dream and kill themselves in it to return to actual reality. However, if they choose wrong they will be killed in both.

The whole episode revolves around an underlying cuck metaphor, in that Amy has to "choose" between her men. Does she prefer Rory or The Doc? Or will she double-team them?


I really enjoyed this one, but I'm a sucker for stories that deal with the "darker sides" of the Doctor's personality. It's always fun to see the Doctor being an evil manipulative cunt, especially when he's attacking himself. And he's particularly vicious with himself in this episode.

Loves a redhead, our naughty Doctor. Has he told you about Elizabeth the First? Well, she thought she was the first...

The Doctor has a serious self-loathing problem, something most of /who/ can probably relate to.