Amy Pond

(Redirected from Amy)
Amy Pond
Amy ATCM.jpg
Vital statistics
Played by Karen Gillan
Years active 2010 - 2013
Travelled with Eleventh Doctor
First story The Eleventh Hour
Last story The Angels Take Manhattan (unless you count her cameo appearance as Elevennant's hallucination on The Time of the Doctor)
Previous Next
Wilf Roman Nurse

Amelia "Amy" Pond, or Lady Jamie (played by Karen Gillan) was the alcoholic scotch firecrotch companion of the Eleventh Doctor. First appeared in The Eleventh Hour.


Many fans argue about her character. Some say that she is strong-willed and loyal, and they are right to say so. Others say that she is a selfish bitch who is so entitled that she borders on violence when she doesn't have her way, and they are right to say that too. However, both sides somehow manage to ignore the single most important, consistent, defining, and predominent trait of hers:

She's stupid.

Amy Pond is so incredibly fucking stupid that even if she were a boy, she could still open the Box of Jhana without losing her mind. She has to be the biggest idiot to travel in the TARDIS in NuWho, and maybe Doctor Who in general, not noticing even the most basic things and having to learn the same lessons over and over again because she is an "everygirl", but let's not fool ourselves, she has a sub-average IQ.

But she has an above-average body. I'll give her that.

Beginning life as Amelia Pond, she soon grew up into Amy after being abandoned by the Doctor and her parents, whom were supposedly absorbed into a crack of space and time, but in reality, she was so dumb then, like she is now, that she probably just forgot where she put them.

Amy was created by the Skull Kid after he donned the Majoras mask, the moon obtained a human face and in a 3 day cycle, fell to the Earth and landed on small city called Clock Town.

Centuries later the moon called itself Amy and became a kissogram who frequently cuckolded her husband Rory Williams because she preferred being dicked by the Doctor. And, in an act of poetry that would impress even the Dark Lord George Lucas Himself, she was eventually cucked by her own daughter.


Her daughter is River Dong. River is actually reasonably intelligent, but allegedly, intelligence comes from the mother's side of the family, so River's level of thinking probably has more to do with the TARDIS than anything else.

Her nickname for Rory was "stupid face". Pot calling the kettle black there.

Amy is notable for being the only female NuWho companion who has not been in an interracial relationship. Unless you count scotch and english as seperate races.

The actress is notable for being found extremely drunk and extremely naked in a hotel hallway once.

Turned up as a hallucination in Time of the Doctor to rub her minge in the Doctor's face one last time.

She is actually based on Jamie McCrimmon (Jamie=Amy) (Scottish=SCOTTISH!!), which explains why she's actually kind of an idiot, but doesn't explain why she can be a selfish bitch sometimes, or why she's almost flat-out retarded even compared to Jamie.

Amy Pond was a Porno actor when she was living in New York around that time of....

shit I forgot


Everyone wanted to bang her. Which proves that brains, or lacktherof, don't matter if you got dem gams and da booty!

In summary: The worst fucking companion to date.


See also